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SharStar

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SharStar

My hair was permed the majority of my life...actually as long as I can remember. During that time, my I went through it all. I had my fair share of damage from doing my own perms far too often, experimenting with various highlights and dyes, frying it daily with curling/ flat irons, ripping it out with weaves - sewed in, or glued on, not to mention the various braid styles that ate away at my edges. Despite the obvious destruction I was doing to my hair (and myself), like many black females (young girls to old women), I continued to feed into society's false image of beauty ignoring all the signs that what I was doing was completely unhealthy. (Everything from the hair on the bathroom floor, to the scabs on my scalp, were all signs that went overlooked.) Through it all I continued to deny that there was anything wrong with this practice. Ultimately I was denying the beautiful black woman my Creator intended me to be.

When I decided to just go ahead with the big chop, so many things had been happening in my life right around that time. I had been thinking about going natural for a while but, decided not to even bother with the transition process. I was about to turn 21; and had just fallen out with many so-called "friends". It was the perfect time to get rid of everything fake I was holding on to and holding me down – friendships… relationships… my hair and mentality.

That fall semester I had just taken the best class I'd ever had in my entire academic career – Dr. Na'im Akbar's - Psychology of the African American. We read Carter G. Woodson's The Mis-Education of the Negro - and my eyes have been opened ever since! One line in particular will forever resonate in my mind – "when you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about his actions"- Woodson. I began to analyze everything I had been taught in school and also by society. I thought about how we as black people have been taught to think of ourselves, and as black women what we have been taught to think of our natural beauty- being raised to believe that chemically destroying a part of ourselves is just something black women did, light skin is somehow valued over dark, and of course the “good hair” vs. “bad hair” bullshit.

I refused to allow myself to be brainwashed any longer!!! Chopping all my hair off was a statement to myself, as well as the rest of the world, that I would forever renounce everything the system has set in place to keep me mentally enslaved. I guess in a sense, when you know better you do better, that's why I could never resort back to a life of chemical destruction or continue to accept society's notion of whats considered beautiful. My eyes are constantly being opened to the truth. - From the kinkiest naps to the loosest waves we are all beautiful just how God made us. Natural women have an air of confidence like no other; and that’s what really makes us beautiful!

December 24, 2005 is the day that I celebrate as my nappiversary. It's also the day I began my journey to liberate my mind. My hair is just the physical manifestation of this continuous process. As my hair slowly grows longer… stronger… healthier… I look at it as a reflection of how much I have changed as a person and how much more growth there is still to be done.

Undoubtedly this has also been a spiritual journey for me as well. I thank God everyday for picking me up and turning me in the right direction. As I become more and more in touch with myself, I gain a deeper connection to Him. {Jah I pray that you continue to open my eyes, speak to my heart, and order my steps.}

I'd like to take a brief second to thank all of you beautiful sistas here on fotki, nappturality.com, and the various other natural sites I went to when I was first starting out…. Its still funny to me that the only place I had support in the beginning was from strangers. (Of course nowwwwww everybody loves and accepts the new me…. for the most part…lol :-) I continue to look to you all for encouragement, advice, and inspiration. Thanks for taking the time to share my journey.

Stay blessed and beautiful….

“Don’t remove the kinks from your hair; remove them from your brain." - Marcus Garvey

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